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Sonic, the Thing of Nightmares, and the Fall of America

May 01, 2019

They just don't care anymore, do they? A washed-up Jim Carrey still clinging to his tired, old schtick as he tries to play Dr. Robotnik opposite a nightmarishly-rendered Ben Schwartz-voiced Sonic (who has human teeth, by the way) in another half-assed effort by a major studio (Paramount) trying to milk all the man-children in America for every last one of their nostalgia dollars, is despicable but not entirely unexpected.

No one cares about Jim Carrey; he was just some strange figure that would appear in those "Dumb and Dumber" and "Bruce Almighty" nightmares that we've all had growing up. And why would anyone watch this over a much more adorable and fleshed-out Detective Pikachu? And why did they have to play "Gangsta's Paradise" over this already bizarrely paced trailer? If you hate yourself or just have no more self-respect, go watch this film when it comes out in November this year.

- MK. III

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